Biking for the first time in years

• bike: welcome aboard!
• brain: you probably need training wheels.
• tires: we're going to need more air than that you idiot.
• handle bars: ewwww what did you do to your hands?
• brain: cars. cars everywhere.
• tires: you gained weight didn't you.
• quads: we just erged, what are you doing to us? stop, no. we refuse.
• me: *panting* i am going to die
• bike: this is wonderful, feel the breeze!
• brain: oh my gosh pedestrians
• quads: please stop
• tires: we second that notion!
• me: never doing this again.